Introduction
Imagine you’re telling a story and want your readers to feel like they’re right there with your characters. Instead of saying, “It was a sunny day,” you can say, “The sun’s rays danced on the water, and the sky was as blue as a shiny marble.” 🌞 That’s “show, don’t tell”—it paints a picture in the reader’s mind using words. It’s like being an artist but with sentences instead of paintbrushes! 🎨
Reasons to Use
- Brings Stories to Life: Descriptions make your reader feel like they’re part of the story.
- Makes Characters Real: Instead of saying, “Tom was scared,” you can say, “Tom’s hands shook, and his heart raced as the monster stepped closer.”
- Adds Excitement: A story full of “showing” keeps readers curious and engaged!
Out in the Wild!
- Use the Five Senses: What can your character see, hear, smell, taste, and touch?
- Instead of “The pie smelled nice,” say, “The warm, buttery scent of apple pie made my mouth water.”
- Describe Actions and Reactions: Show how characters behave.
- Instead of “He was angry,” say, “His fists clenched, and his face turned red like a tomato.”
- Paint a Picture with Words: Use colorful comparisons and details.
- Instead of “It was a big mountain,” say, “The mountain towered over them, its snowy peak touching the clouds.”
Examples
Beginner: Easy Descriptions
- Tell: The flowers were pretty.
- Show: The garden was full of colorful flowers, with pink roses and yellow daisies swaying in the breeze.
Intermediate: Adding Action
- Tell: Emma was excited.
- Show: Emma’s eyes lit up, and she jumped up and down, clapping her hands. “This is the best day ever!” she shouted.
Expert: Using Multiple Senses
- Tell: The storm was scary.
- Show: Lightning cracked across the dark sky, and thunder rumbled like a roaring lion. The cold rain soaked my clothes as the wind howled in my ears.
Troubleshooting Tips
- Too Many Details: If your descriptions feel too long, pick the most important details.
- Example: Instead of describing every cloud, just say, “The clouds rolled across the sky like fluffy gray giants.”
- Not Enough Showing: If it feels like “telling,” ask yourself: “What would I see or feel if I were there?”
- Avoid Clichés: Try creative comparisons instead of common phrases.
- Example: Instead of “cold as ice,” say, “cold like a freezer full of ice lollies.”
Also known as...
- Painting with Words
- Word Imagery
- Writing Vividly
Where else is this Used?
As kids grow, they can learn how descriptive writing creates mood and tone:
- Mood: The feeling of the scene (e.g., dark and spooky, bright and cheerful).
- Tone: How the narrator or characters feel (e.g., serious, silly, or excited).
By showing, not telling, kids can make their writing emotionally powerful and connect with their readers.
Memory Tips
- Think Like a Movie Director: Ask, “What would this look like on screen?” Then describe it with words.
- Use Comparisons: Practice similes and metaphors (e.g., “as bright as a diamond” or “the trees were green umbrellas”).
- Practice with Photos: Look at a picture and describe it as if someone can’t see it.